Parent Lingo

So as a parent you are going to do soo many new and crazy things that are somewhat unexpected. Like name crazy, funny,not so nice things that your child(ren) does. Here is some parent lingo that you only understand once you are a parent and your child does these "wonderful" things to you.

Stiff as a board - when a child makes their body straight and stiff, like a board, making it impossible to sit anywhere (train, bus,, stroller, lap, etc)

I was introduced to this while I was prego with my first son. I was watching a couple with there child, it was nice at first but then it got ugly and scary. I immediately thought I am not going to teach my baby how to do that but you know what I found out they are born knowing how to do this..lol

Spider walker- when you lift a child that does not want to be lifted up and they throw them backwards as if they are going to walk like a spider.

This is not fun at all but it happens when toddlers are involved in something they shouldn't be or you have to leave you current location. Just be strong and if you don't want to get kicked hold child away from you or my fave throw them under your arm

Siren Yell - this is a ear piercing yell that can make you deaf. There is nothing you can do to turn it off but if it makes you feel better tell you child to stop over and over again.

My second son does this all the time since he is not speaking in sentences yet. He gets mad and just yells and yells. The most recent time he did this was in a restaurant I heard nothing else but his scream because I was holding him. Everyone stared but i kept calm because I knew nothing I did would stop this siren yelling and he would stop somehow someway. I offered him some of my meal and it kind worked. As he chewed come grains of rice he fell asleep again.

Statue - a toddler or preschooler who does not want to leave their current location will freeze like a statue and not move even if you pull them

To a onlooker this is pretty funny but to the parent that is pulling the statue not so much.

Neck Brace - this when you child wants to give you a big hug and squeeze you but they only thing their arms can wrap around is your neck

This is actually nice for a few second but then you might start to get dizzy so be ready to relocate arms to around your torso.

Jumping Bean - baby bounces the bottom half of their body to be picked up.

Babies are born knowing that this means they will get picked up. I don't know how they know but they do and it always works.

This is all I have for now but more to come :o)